This is where I am now; feeling helpless, useless, unworthy of the title "mom".
Both of my boys are having health issues; not overly serious, but enough to affect all of our daily lives/routines. To say that is has been challenging or difficult would be an understatement. But we're doing everything we can to get as close to "normal" as possible.
I love my children more than everything, but this time in our lives has been the hardest & most trying thing I have ever experienced. I try not to complain or dwell too much on things that are beyond our control. I try to make them laugh at least a million times a day & I try with every fiber of my being to make sure that they know that I've got their backs.
So often lately I've found myself crying as I message my innermost circle; the girls I share EVERYTHING with (even stuff I don't like to tell myself). I extremely dislike feeling helpless when it comes to my boys, I think every parent does. It makes me stress more than I normally do.
Oh & did I mention that we had a phone conference with a college rep over the weekend? Yup, the Squab has actually been communicating with colleges for the better part of the last year, but this is the first time he's been interested enough in a school to schedule something that involves the 'rents (aka the male & female parental units).
Scary stuff folks. My babies are growing up too fast. My first baby is looking toward the future & my babiest baby is taller than me. And I can't control any of it. Not even in the slightest. It freaks me out regularly.
But I think I wouldn't necessarily change too much of it. Of course I'd give them better health if I could, but I'm not sure that I'd change much more than that.
Parenting is a hard job. But so far, it is also the most rewarding one I've found so far (trust me, I've cleaned toilets, fitted bras & tried to collect debts; I've done a lot).
Anyway, that's where things stand here. Dealing with the adulting & the parenting & not necessarily having the time, energy or desire to do much else, but still making the effort. I'm scared as hell to let them go, but excited as all get out to see who they become.
Until sometime after now m'dears....