Let me start by saying that "normal' is relative. What's normal for me (requiring a decent amount of coffee to function as a human) may not be normal for you (how do some of you human on just regular beverages?). So when I use the term "normal" in this post (yes, going forward I will ditch the quotation marks) I'm referring to a routine that was standard for me & mine.
As those of you (I'm hoping three by now) who've been reading my recent blog posts know, 2018 did a number on my family. We had many changes, both good & bad, many adjustments & the loss of any semblance of "normal".
Let me start by saying that "normal' is relative. What's normal for me (requiring a decent amount of coffee to function as a human) may not be normal for you (how do some of you human on just regular beverages?). So when I use the term "normal" in this post (yes, going forward I will ditch the quotation marks) I'm referring to a routine that was standard for me & mine.
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Apologies to the handful of you that still try to follow this blog. 2018 was undisputedly (so far) the worst year for me & mine. (It doesn't sound grammatically correct, but I'm declaring that it is so deal with it.)
I'm still recovering from last year & so far this year has been better, but not by a ton. So, this post will be short, ish. Not prepared to go into details, but let me just say that there were WAY TOO MANY deaths in my family & as we're approaching (or have passed) the one year anniversaries of those losses I'm struggling. I've been trying to find my way back to myself, back to the people I care about, but it's not easy. Not by a long shot. As always money (or lack thereof) weighs heavy on my mind. Anxiety pounces on everything, even the sadness of a Hallmark movie (because they don't show the commercials like they used to). Stress, depression & fatigue take over; worries fill in the nooks & crannies. I've not been able to create much; the inner critic monsters have stepped up with megaphones & protest posters, echoing the unknowingly/unintentionally insensitive comments of strangers, family & friends. They've no permits, but because there is no inner positive police force to deal with them, they persist. But I'm on a tiny ledge of "you can tryness" right now, so I've taken the first step. This post. Which I will not share on Facebook or Twitter. Which I will publish before I change my mind. Which will hopefully be the start to more. I hope you've been well.... Aloha hugs, -Clare ***Warning: The following post is not all bubbles & cawfee, so if you're one of the two people that read these & are feeling depressed or just not in the mood for less than bouncy kitty happiness proceed with caution.***
Because my babiest baby, the Chicken, is turning SIXTEEN! (Insert every sad face emoji imaginable here)
Yes gang, my sweet boy is sixteen & I'm bawling. Dearest you,
Before 2016 ends I want to remind you that despite everything that has happened, you were, are & always will be loved. No matter what the future has in store for us, you will always be important & there will always be someone (besides me) who thinks you are amazing, because you are. In the new year, be good to yourself. Be good to others. Make a difference. Remember even if you only change one person's life for the better, that's one more person changed than yesterday. Have a beautiful life, share your light & love with the world, make time to play with bubbles & dance in the rain whenever possible. 💖 -Me and I'm still here. It's been a rough few months here & it's been all I can do to not go crazy. I haven't created anything in I don't know how long & truthfully the last two months have been so overwhelmingly challenging that I've basically just been doing what I had to do to get things done.
Yes, my sock monkeys have clothes on. The tutu that Carlee is wearing & the overalls that Carl are wearing were handmade by yours truly. I did not make the leather bomber jacket that Carlee is wearing (she mugged an elf on the shelf for it, because I couldn't find anything small enough to make her a coconut bra).
but a creative surge hit me as soon as the Squab left for school & I got caught up in it. so much more complicated than I could have ever imagined. Hands down, the hardest thing I have ever done is be a parent. Harder than adulting even. of the first week back to school. Day two of both my boys being in high school. Day two of having the house to myself (well sans other humans anyway).
So far we're all surviving. Both boys had "meh" kind of days yesterday. They're both at a new school, so we are all expecting a natural period of adjustment. (The Squab decided to transfer to a school that isn't as overcrowded as the last & the possibility of actually have staff that will care enough to give him extra help is greater. The Chicken transferred for basically the same reasons, but also because that is where his brother is.) I did pretty good myself; I can count the number of times I cried from missing them on one hand. I can't say that I wasn't worried about them, especially the Chicken; freshman year is hard., but when I found out that the Squab took his brother for ice cream after school ("because freshman") I felt reassured that I don't have to worry as much. As much. So day two & both boys made it out the door on time, with little struggle. I unfortunately woke up with a very bad, very strange headache. I think I might have been sleep stressing again. A few hours (read:most of the day so far) of rest (because I could not fall back asleep) & some meds are watching it slowly march out of here. Unfortunately this means I have not been able to accomplish much of what I wanted for the day. Still, surviving the first two days so far is a good thing & I'll call it a win for us. I just hope that the week gets better for both boys & that we can all transition back into the school routine as smoothly as possible, because next week the Stork's work schedule changes. This will mean earlier bed times for him & earlier wake times for both of us. Hope you are all having a good week. Oh yeah, if you don't mind, please take a minute to send some strength & positive thoughts to my girl Janelle over at Hands and Harts & her ohana. They are in the middle of major geographical & lifestyle changes as they move from Michigan to Alaska. (Send them hug filled bubbles too if you can.) Well gang, I'm going to go do something domestical (read: I need to get something out for dinner or we'll starve!). Have a spectacular rest of the day & I'll ramble at you later. Aloha, -Clare Tradition #1 - (This pertains mainly to what I post on this blog.) Blurry cell phone pictures. Tradition #2 - The annual first day of school batch of (oh so yummy) Orange Glazed Cinnamon Rolls. Because being a freshman (the Chicken) & senior (the Squab) requires sugary love. So much yay! I have been waiting for this all summer & can't tell you how excited I am to meet David & hear an excerpt from his book. I'll try to take pics & will update you tomorrow. Yay!
Aloha hugs, -Clare |
More about "ME"Aloha my name is Clare! My main job title is Mom, but I'm also an artist, crafter, avid experimental cook & occasional rabid baker. I live in Idaho with my husband & two sons (the "we" or "us" part of this website), but was raised in Hawaii. Feel free to explore our pages as we grow & change. Mahalo! (Thank you) Categories
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