But I haven't, I've pushed forward & made myself get up to do the things & love the peoples. It is what I do.
There have been so many of my people giving me love & encouragement this week (for that you all get extra bubble privileges when I take over the universe), which I greatly appreciate. But sometimes, no matter what people say or do for you, it just isn't quite enough to snap you out of whatever funk you're in. No matter how badly you want it to.
That has been me this week. Feeling helpless as my boys suffered with migraines, the viciously evil "not a cold, not the flu, not an infection, but the early stages of a virus that won't respond to antibiotics", high school & just being a teenager in general, has rendered me blubbery. I don't normally sleep well to begin with, despite trying everything I can think of/is suggested, but add the worrying about my babies & call me exhausted beyond belief. This has added to the general yuck of the other stuff.
As I said, I've been getting up & doing the things anyway. (No, I haven't been able to nap at all. Curse you grownupdom!) I've also been taking time each day to do something just for me (aside from using the bathroom without someone texting or yelling at me through the door).
Most of the time this includes logging into Pandora on my PC in the CoW & singing along with/bopping to whatever pops onto my current station (which is actually on shuffle because why pick on particular type of music when you can listen to all of them?). Obviously, because I've shared quite a few of the songs (which I searched on YouTube because some people don't Pandora & I wouldn't know how to link that anyway) you know I like all sorts of music.
Doing this relaxes me. It helps me center myself & for the most part, helps me focus. It also makes me happy. Even the sad songs.
Anyway, this morning was particularly stressful because the Chicken was feeling as miserable as I've seen him in a long time (this is one tough kid, so if he's that bad, I'm scared), so I decided it would be a good time to start with the peeling of my new bar of Lavender Chamomile soap. Those two things are supposed to help ease tension & bring stillness or something.
As I unwrapped the soap & inhaled the comforting scent (while also in inadvertently cutting myself on the veggie peeler blades) I recognized the beginning of a familiar song. One that I hear on a semi-regular basis on my Pandora shuffle, which I do not mind in the least. In fact, I've heard that song at least once a day all week long.
But today, as I was trying to decompress while simultaneously trying to not peel my fingers again, I finally got it. At last I understood what my peoples & the universe have been trying to tell me all week. I will still be stressed & tired, but I will be able to relax a bit more because of it.
You got me guys, message received.