Such is the case with my life both creatively & otherwise these days. It seems the universe has decided that messing with me is an amusing pastime & should be done as often as possible. So I sigh, take a deep breath & attempt to smile or laugh my way through it.
Now I am not genetically predisposed to cheeriness, nor am I predisposed to grumpiness. I am not naturally an optimist, although I suppose that some who know me would disagree. I am also not naturally pessimistic. I consider myself, in all honesty, to be a neutralist.
I am both light & dark, I just choose to hang out in the sun more, because I truly believe that my purpose in this existence is to lift others up. I feel in my deepest soul that I am meant to help others learn that there is/can be goodness in both light & dark. Yes, I just vaguely made a reference to chocolate, but that's not the light/dark conundrum.
Anyway, as I stated life has been....
Things both positive & negative have been happening & despite my intense desire to be able to control them, or any aspect related to them, I can't.
So I let go. I let the universe (or fate or religious entity if you prefer) take control & guide my path. I would love to say that I am stronger because of this philosophy, but I can't. I can't say that I won't eventually be stronger, but I can say that right now, in this time, I have been struck low. Oh I'm slowly gaining strength with each moment that occurs without incident, but yes, I am wary of the next "thing".
I am still attempting to look on the bright side, still trying to move forward & not let the darkness define me, or those I hold dear. I am still working on new projects. Still trying to prove to myself that despite my failure as a (successful) business woman, I am still an artist, still a mother, still a wife, daughter, sister, friend.
I have many friends that are struggling right now. Whether it is financially, emotionally, issues with children or family, academically or professionally, they all have pain. They all have their moments, like me, when they feel like giving in might actually solve everything. We all feel like that at some point; its natural.
For me, its also natural to want to lift them up. My instincts are to hug them, comfort them, tell them that it will be okay & remind them that they are loved. This is where the light wins. This is where my inner cheerleader steps up & takes over. And while I do like this part, while it feels right for me to do, I still sometimes wish I didn't have to.
You see, even those of us who seem cheery or strong or resilient or unbreakable, still need a little pick me up every now & then too. Even the strongest fortress needs support.
I guess what I'm trying to say, even though I lost what I was planning to say about six sentences into this post, is never take anyone for granted. Even the friend who never seems to have a problem or the one who will drop her fight of a life threatening illness to be by your side.
Never forget that we all have our problems & just because some of us are more verbal about them than those who don't say a word, it doesn't mean we don't need a little lift. And don't be afraid to ask for that lift. Don't be afraid to say "Hey, this is really hard for me & I need something good to happen".
Because doing that, letting that "secret" go, could just be the next piece to the puzzle that is your life. That one simple request for a hug, be it in person or via digital media, could be the difference between giving up & fighting on.